A Bit Weepy


(note: sa=gender neutral pronoun, can also mean ‘someone’)

I’m a bit weepy right now, but I’m not sure why. I’ve been pretty weepy lately, and I can’t really see why.

I’ve eaten breakfast and taken my pill. Later a crazy friend of my mother will be taking me to Mass.

I’m a bit lonely, and I miss my ex even though we’ve been apart nearly two months now. The 15th was sa’s B-day, and I gave sa a call, but sa didn’t pick up… This makes me feel like an overly emotional teenager, which I suppose I am… This is only the second time I’ve called sa since we broke up, so I don’t think I’m being over clingy.

Also a bit down because I FINALLY got my grades, and I only have a 2.9666 GPA, when I need a 3.0 to start college early. Always next semester right? Maybe I’m not ready for college because of my condition (Atypical Depression), but I want to be there so much. I feel like I’m getting left behind.

I could keep going, but I don’t have that much to say.

CBT
Writing a post- 18July

Sad 6
Weepy 4
Tired 3
Empty 2
Anxious 4

Why am I like this? Who will even care about this blog anyway? I’m just faking. I want attention. My parents are going to catch me. I’m not Sophie right now, and I’m going to Mass… I want to go back to sleep, but I’m not sleepy, just tired.

ACTION: Went to Mass, had lunch.

It is ok to be this way, this is how I am. I will care about this blog. What other people think is not important. I’m not faking. I have a real illness. Even if I was faking, what would it matter?. It it okay to want attention. My parents will not catch me at this. The punishment for being caught is that they will finally learn who I am. It’s ok that when I went to Mass I wasn’t Sophie, because when I got there I became sa. It’s ok to feel tired, I can center myself.

Sad 1 (-5)
Weepy 1 (-3)
Tired 0 (-3)
Empty 0 (-2)
Anxious 0 (-4)

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