The black eye my father gave me is nearly gone, which is good ’cause I really don’t want to explain it to my councilor. I think that having it is a bit embarrasing, and I don’t really want to be in public with it… Also, the headaches that I’ve had since getting it are beginning to subside. And the cut where his wedding ring split my skin is nearly gone to, though it seems to be scarring…
I’m just glad to have the thing gone, it really messed with my self esteem. I mean the thing was ON MY FACE! It makes me angry really. After he smacked me, part of me rally just wanted to kill myself. I really felt like a failure, like I just couldn’t win.
My mother was thinking about leaving him for it, and nearly every time she sees it she bursts into tears. I wish she would stop, it just makes me feel worse. My mood is everywhere, but I’ve gotten some things done today. Brushed my hair, brushed my teeth, wiped the kitchen sink. I’m kind of proud of that.
I’ve already slept like two hours today… so I’ll be in bed about 23:00. I’m really trying to cut down on the hypersomnia, because it’s really dibilitating. I’m spiraling, so I still have really good days, but it’s getting worse, spell by spell. I feel like I’m faking…
Becoming Whole 