More on the Whole Dark Thing

I(holo) am apparently the only one who has trouble telling who’s fronting. I’m the only one who has problems with the whole, who’s thinking bit. And apparently I’m the only one who clings to front. Apparently the computer brings me out?

Mag started a Live Journal, but she says I keep pushing her out… I don’t mean to be so pushy, it’s just, ME TIME. I don’t think I’m out so much at school, but since sa who responded to body name is gone, who knows?

Anyway, Dark came out today, while I was with my mother feeding impovershed people. I realized she’s the one with the headaches. She’s photosensensitive. It’s interesting/distressing to watch her and Mag co-front. I watched her like a hawk.

She was nice enough, but was kind of distressed when none of ‘her kind of people’ were there. Which was a duh! kind of thing. Today is more Sophie’s arena.

She also got VERY angry at my mother when she pulled some furniture our of the trash (mother’s a hoarder). Mother ignored her intense displeasure. Dark was seething, but copes through exercise, and hates sunlight. So I let her fume and slowly took front.

The images in her mind were distressingly violent, but I suppose that’s all that they are, imagination. Maybe she doesn’t really want to act on them, they’re just ways for her to let of steam? I don’t know.

I’m apparently the only one who really has a problem with all of this! They say I’m newer and need to mellow out, but I FEEL like I’ve been here just as long as them.

I don’t know.


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