So… Meds

Ya’ll dont know this, but I have been off my medication for the past five days, and since I took them this morning, and I am alone at the moment, I can look back on the week…

Oversleeping and loss of interest…

Well, I pulled through school okay…

On the Bus, VERY TIRED…

At home, extremely easily agitated, especially since my parents won’t leave me alone anymore bacause they realized that I am depressed. But they are very mad at me because I am being so mean!

Well, I don’t bother them after they had a hard day at work, so what gives them the right to do it to me? They’re always trying to teach me about respect, and then all they do is disrespect me?

When I can’t deal with people, I just avoid them! I’m sorry, but they’re like “that’s unacceptable”, and then they get pissed when I’m mean? What the fuck, seriously?

AND- you’ll love this one. My dad took me out to eat yesterday, and took like 3 hours looking for a place to eat then FINALLY picked the place less than 15 minutes from our house… I was STARVING, and he said it was unacceptable for me to expect to eat before 10pm, and it was only about 6pm!

Anyway, when he left, he said “it would be so satisfying to bash your head in with a baseball bat”. He didn’t see anything wrong with that, “it’s not a threat, it’s the truth”, “It’s okay for me to say that because I’m the adult, and you’re the child”.

I begin to wonder if maybe my family is a little bit more abusive than I thought. That statement is not so out of the ordinary at my house, but it certianly as hell is not normal!


12 responses to “So… Meds

  1. I’m glad you understand that is NOT normal and IS abusive. Do you have any people in your life who are more supportive and loving if your parents can’t be that for you?


    • No, not people IRL. My whole family (aunts, uncles, friends of family) is more messed up than my family. We’re the “normal, sane” side. 😦

      I have my little web of internet help, but… You guys aren’t really right here with me.

    • christopherolah

      >I’m glad you understand that is NOT normal and IS abusive.

      Quoted for truth.

      Your parents behaviour is utterly inappropriate.

  2. Have you ever tried a church? Even though I’m a Christian I will be the first to admit that a lot of churches are abusive and judgmental. So you’d want to be careful. But one that is run well can offer you support and family-like support since your family is messed up. And the ones that are run well (IMO) normally don’t require you to be a Christian in order for you to take part in their support groups/ministries.


    • Well, no. Getting my parents to lt me go to church is like pulling teeth. And me getting myself to go to church is also like pulling teeth. (one pagan, on catholic. its a headache)

      Although I may try to look into it because I just need more time away from my family!

  3. undercoverdid

    first, i’m really glad you took your meds today. I hope that you can find a good med combo and stay on it and it will help you. Depression is horrible. I know what it’s like to not have support. I’m sorry your family is not supportive and is saying things that aren’t appropriate to you as a person. I hope you can find a counselor at school, your therapist or pdoc if you have one, someone to talk to about this. It really sounds like you need to have some family therapy- your parents need to learn about your depression and appropriate talking skills.

  4. I wish I could talk to you in depression chat. It sounds very unfair and wrong what your dad said to you.

  5. It’s difficult getting off meds. I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to attempt on your own.

    As far as parents are concerned, Fuck that! Sorry, but they’re out of their minds thinking they can teach you to respect them by saying such horrid things to you and treating you like that. If anything, they seem like the mean ones.

    • oh- i didn’t mean i was coming off them on purpose! It just sort of happened. I’m back on them again- and they’re a lot more effective than they were-strangely.

      eh- i can be cruel too- i just hate how they are such hypocrates!

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