29th

I journalled a lot, last night, on the 29th… I mostly went through my life story, leaving a lot out, but the bare bones of it.

And… its made me realize that perhaps I am the only adult in my life at the moment. And I think realizing that is a good thing. I spend so much time helping my mother, been doing it since I was very young. So… I need to take responsibility for my life, do the right thing, work through things on my own. Take control, but be happy for the things I have right now, provided through my “parents”.

I’d get a job, but first I need to get my CURRENT life under control. Establish a good homework pattern, and a stable mood.

I don’t know why, but realizing that what my parents do isn’t right has somehow lifted a weight off my shoulders.

I mean, you guys, looking in at what I have written, probably can’t understand this, but this feel very normal to me. It’s uncomfortable sometimes, but I rarely feel genuenly fearful- the abuse i get, if it is abuse, is mostly verbal. There was the black eye, and I’m not discounting that, but I don’t think it will happen again. HOWEVER, if it does… I am SO gone, no matter what it takes. I won’t put up with that kind of bullshit.

Mood atm- sliding between mild depression and hypomania

GOD-
(1) – shower
(2) – do all homework
(3) – wash dishes
… this may be a stretch actually… i don’t know if i can actually do all of that…

So- Question of the Day-
How do YOU stabalize your moods? Or do you have any tips on it?